Family & Personal

Billy Graham, when asked about his life long marriage and his secret of love, was rumored to have said, "It's simple, you see, Ruth and I are happily incompatible."

The secret, the nugget of truth that makes us smile, is that we are all incompatible in some ways. While it is true that opposites do attract, our differences can often get in the way of our relationships. To build stronger relationships we need to have an understanding and appreciation of our differences. In marriage, friendship, business, and ministry we are constantly interacting with people whose personalities and behaviors seem incompatible with our own, but may be exactly the person we need to complement our own strengths and limitations.

The transmission in a car works BECAUSE of the differences the gears have in both size and design, not despite them. The great adventure of family relationships is understanding and taking advantage of the differences. There are many ways that people in a family are different: gender, personality, learning style and the way we think are just a few. IML’s Family, Parenting and Personal Resources are specifically designed to help enrich and enhance your personal relationships.

Case Study: John and Denise

Denise would ask John to go to the grocery store to pick up a list of items. Despite being tired from working all day, John was still happy to go to the store to help Denise since she was busy with their two children all day.

Inevitably, John would go to the store and forget one or two items despite having a list that Denise had given him. Denise would be upset that she went to the trouble of making a list and felt that John didn't care enough to get each and every item for her. He had a list! Why couldn’t he read and get ten simple items? John would then be upset because he felt he went out of his way to help Denise after a long day of work and, after all, he did get 90% of the stuff. Why wasn’t that good enough?

After taking the DISC profile at their church, John and Denise discovered that they each have different ways of communicating and viewing the world around them. John, being a high “I”, was willing to do anything for Denise but details were not so important and he desired to be appreciated for his efforts. Denise, a high “C”, wanted John to pay attention to the things that she really needed.

John and Denise will celebrate 13 happy years of marriage in 2007. They've learned to appreciate the differences in their personality styles and are now even able to joke when John forgets to get an item at the store... although he doesn't do it nearly as often now that he better understands Denise's needs.

Case Study: Joshua

Josh was a very capable learner. He had done well through Fourth Grade, but everything changed when his family moved from one state to another. Suddenly, he was a discipline problem at school; his grades slipped. He hated school and couldn’t keep friends, although he was a very outgoing child.

Turning to IML’s StudentKeys* products, his parents began to realize that he learned differently than others. His siblings adapted well to the move because they were task and results oriented; auditory learners. Josh had a more of people oriented personality that needed an environment with little structure, rules and regulations; where diversity was applauded. He tends to learn experientially. The move had taken him from a “free environment” to one where the structure seemed to be simply oppressive to him. He failed to conform. His parents sought out a different type of school and now he thrives in school once again.

*IML’s StudentKeys products are recommended for ages 16-22 (approximately) depending on social and intellectual maturity. Joshua was age 12 at the time and completed the assessments along with his parents. Joshua turned 15 in 2007 and is finishing his Eighth Grade year with a 4.0 GPA.